Holy Week is hard, especially for tired parents.

Here’s why you should do your best to make the most of this important week.

But first, a story:

Last year, during Holy Week, our kids had come down with a bug. It wasn’t too serious – fevers for a day or two, followed by nausea and an upset tummy. Dave and I decided it was best to keep the kids home, but since the adults were “asymptomatic,” we still wanted to attend SOME of the Holy Week liturgies, albeit at the lesser-attended nearby parishes, and with an abundance of hand sanitizer and distance.

As I was getting ready for Mass on Holy Thursday evening, I noticed our 2-year-old, who had “the bug,” sitting on one of the yellow upholstered chairs (pictured above – the chair, not my daughter) in our living room. Now, we had those chairs for less than a year, and our children generally understood that they reeaaallllly weren’t supposed to be sitting on the chairs (if you have kids, you get why), but they DEFINITELY were not supposed to sit on the chairs when sick.

Casually, I remarked to her, “Baby, you know you’re not supposed to sit in that chair when you’re sick. Please get down.”

Well, she didn’t, and I didn’t follow up on my request, and less than five minutes later, I hear her wailing. I return to the living room, only to find that she had made a MESS of her diaper, ALL OVER the chair, and it was the EXACT color as the chair (because, you know, she had a bug).

I about died.

Immediately, I yelled to Dave to grab the Hoover carpet cleaner, and we sped to clean up this poor, soiled child (it looked like a bottle of mustard exploded all over her). Of course, we had to make sure my baby was OK before tending to the chair… 😉 and somehow, by the grace of God, I was able to clean the chair and make it to the Holy Thursday Mass on time.

Even though I was there physically, my mind wasn’t there. I was stuck thinking about the chair, and the bug, and the fact that, although I had the best intentions of having a “holy” Holy Week, it just wasn’t happening. Sitting in the very back pew, I felt discouraged and defeated, like a bad mom and an even worse Catholic!

But then it came time for the washing of the feet. It hit me – before Jesus gave us the Holy Eucharist for the first time, He washed His disciples’ feet:

 “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.” – The Holy Gospel According to St. John 13:14-16

I was so worried about getting out the door, for a good reason, that when things didn’t go as I expected, I freaked out. But the simple (PROFOUND) act of Jesus washing feet brought me back.

In this life of parenthood, there are going to be setbacks, annoyances, frustrations, and even a mess of bodily fluids (this wasn’t the first time we had Holy Week explosions – once, we had a toddler projectile vomit all over the car on Palm Sunday…). We can expect that things aren’t going to go as expected.

My prayer for you is that, this week and beyond, you’ll keep your heart focused on serving your family and pointing them to Christ in the week of His Passion.

And with that said, here are those long-awaited tips for keeping the peace during the last few days of Holy Week:

• Plan ahead. Know which liturgies you realistically can attend during the Triduum (they’re not all holy days of obligation, but it’s goooooood to be there). Make a list of local parishes and the times for their liturgies and plan accordingly.
• Don’t be afraid to go separately. The liturgies, especially Good Friday, can be LONG, and difficult for small children. You know your children better than anyone else, and it’s up to you to determine how much they’re able to digest.
• Brief your kids beforehand. The Holy Thursday Mass and Good Friday liturgy are VERY different than what your kids are used to. Tell your kids about the foot washing, stripping of the altar, and leaving Mass in silence on Thursday; on Friday, expect the longer reading of the Passion, the veneration of the cross, and the fact that it’s not really a Mass (no Catholic churches have Mass on Good Friday or Holy Saturday morning!).
• Make sure your kids are fed and rested beforehand. This is a piece of advice that applies to ALL Masses and outings with kids. When our kids are hungry and/or tired, no one is set up for success!
• Offer up your little sufferings and unite them with Jesus. We’re in the final stretch before Easter! Don’t miss out on glorifying God through every joy and sorrow, especially when you’re fasting and abstaining on Good Friday.
• Remember that your degree of holiness is not based on how well your kids behave during the liturgies.

As we prepare to commemorate the Lord’s Passion, know that the Cowdens are praying for you and offering up our sufferings for you this week. Jesus, it’s all for you!

For more realistic ways YOU can grow in holiness, get “The Prayer Book for Tired Parents: Practical Ways to Grow in Love of God and Get Your Family to Heaven” , written by Dave and Debbie Cowden.