By Debbie Cowden
While the rest of the world prepares to start fresh in 2025, pledges to eat better, exercise, and read more books often get the limelight.
However, I’d like to encourage my fellow Christians to take an honest look at behaviors and actions that not only hurt ourselves, but also negatively affect our families, neighbors, and colleagues.
Here are five habits we all ought to ditch in 2025, and compelling reasons to do so:
- Spending too much time on our phones. A recent study reported that adults spend an average of more than 4.5 hours on their phone daily. If the average life expectancy is 76 years, that means we’re spending around 12 years of our lives on our phones!
Why is it destructive? It takes time away from our families, decreases productivity at work (arguably, stealing wages), impacts relationships, and is a bad witness to our children. Additionally, using phones while driving can cause accidents, property damage, or death.
What to do: There are many apps and strategies to combat excessive phone usage. Utilize these for accountability, or make a commitment to put your phone away during certain hours. It’s a nasty habit to break, but you CAN do it! - Being perpetually late. I get it. I’m a mom of four, and I’ve made plenty of excuses for my tardiness. Even before kids, I was among the 1 in 5 Americans who admitted to being late to work weekly..
Why is it destructive? There are legitimate reasons for occasionally running late, but chronic tardiness can be a sin against charity because it disrespects others’ schedules, costs company time, is disruptive (like during Mass), and, in some cases causes other people to be late. “Running late” can even be an occasion of sin through speeding,
What to do: Admit to yourself that it takes longer than you’ll expect to get from one place to another, and add that buffer time to your schedule. In my case, I know I need to add a buffer of at least 15 minutes to get out the door with four kids.Arriving early gives us a chance to corral the kids, find where we’re supposed to go, and enter peacefully, not frazzled. - Frequently “flaking.” “Hey, sorry to text you last minute, but…” We’ve all gotten that text before. Habitually canceling plans last minute, or “flaking,” can quickly earn the scorn of friends and family, and for good reason!
Why is it destructive? When we repeatedly back out of plans, we demonstrate a lack of regard for others – those who made room in their schedules for us, who prepared meals for us, who desired our friendship. People lose their confidence in our reliability and are less likely to reach out in the future.If we commit to something and have no intention of following through, that’s a lie.
What to do: Whether it’s a social engagement, favor for a friend, or a greater promise you’ve made, don’t commit unless you are sure you can follow through. If you recognize you have flaky tendencies, do some interior work to get to the root of why – Am I too busy or overcommitted? Did I agree to attend because of guilt? I am canceling because something “better” came along after? Confronting this habit with honesty and humility will make you a more reliable, trustworthy person.
- Not having a budget, schedule, and meal plan. Money is already a sore spot for couples, with as many as 34% of adults in relationships citing it as a trigger for fights. Studies have shown that humans – especially kids – thrive with routines. And meal plans are a fruit of good budgeting and scheduling. However, someone who isn’t in the habit of doing any of the three might not see the immediate problem.
Why is it destructive? Let me be clear: Not having this triad of organization is not a sin! However, the lack of planning can perpetuate bad habits and poor outcomes, like tardiness, missed commitments, impulse spending on fast food, food waste, etc. It can cause arguments among spouses and deprive children of stability..Many of us also tend to use the “I don’t have time” excuse for praying, going to Mass, or doing spiritual reading. Having a better grip on our schedule would allow us to block out time! More on that in point 5.
What to do: There’s no need to overcomplicate things. Reddit users have mixed opinions on whether or not AI is helpful, but our family uses a synced Google calendar for work schedules and activities, and a good ol’ fashioned pen-and-paper to manage daily tasks like schooling, errands, Daily Mass, and we include the prayer intention for the day too. Find a system that works for you and stick to it.
Neglecting prayer and time due to God. God made us to know, love, and serve Him in this world so we can be happy with Him forever in Heaven. When our days are crammed with work, school, extra-curriculars, and other busy-ness, how much time is there for God?
Why is it destructive? A properly-ordered day should have a balance of work, rest and recreation, and prayer. When we’re “too busy” (referencing point 4) usually our prayer lives take the hit. As a result, we deliberately rob God of the time and attention He deserves.We’re also robbing ourselves and our families of the graces from praying together and receiving the sacraments frequently.
What to do: Let this be the year you turn your heart and mind back to God! No matter how busy you are, it is possible to reorient your life toward God. My husband, Dave, and I show you how to do that in The Prayer Book for Tired Parents: Practical Ways to Grow in Love of God and Get Your Family to Heaven,” proudly published by EWTN. The book includes realistic ways busy parents can put God first, develop concrete habits of prayer, and cultivate God’s peace in their homes. That’s a resolution worth making in 2025!
