It’s supposed to be “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” but it’s also, ironically, a season when parents lose their peace. Here are some practical ways to regain – and sustain – the peace during the Advent and Christmas seasons.
- Discuss expectations with your spouse and children. Are we going to see Christmas lights? Which parties and dinners are we attending? How much are we spending on presents and activities (see #3)? What will we plan to bake and cook for the big meal? Are we going to Mass on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or both? Having discussions beforehand will eliminate (or reduce) confusion and give you time to plan.
- Make a schedule. It’s amazing how quickly the calendar fills up, but keeping a schedule will offer a visual account of the busyness. It also allows you to “block out” time for rest and enjoyment at home so no one gets burned out mid-season.
- Agree on a budget, and stick to it! You know you’re going to buy presents, stocking stuffers, host gifts, and decorations, so plan for them! Dave and I have kept a Christmas budget almost every year, and it’s allowed us the freedom to bless our children and enjoy the season without going into debt and without feeling the guilt of overspending.
- Finish your shopping, wrapping, and card-writing as early as possible. Dave and I do our Christmas shopping from August-October. We wrap our presents and address our Christmas cards in November, and by December, we’re free to enjoy all sorts of activities with our kids. We’re not here to brag, but to remind parents that Christmas falls on December 25 every year, and that we DO have the ability to save ourselves from shipping delays, sold-out items, and frantic last-minute purchases.
Before I mention number 5, a quick anecdote about the importance of planning ahead as a means to keep the peace: In mid-December 2023, I had just given birth to our fourth child. I had only been back from maternity leave for two days when our entire family got sick and our newborn was hospitalized with RSV. Despite the uncertainty about her prognosis and the exhaustion from being a postpartum mom back in the hospital with a VERY small, vulnerable newborn, I had NO worries about any last-minute shopping, decorating, or tasks to finish – everything was taken care of, and we could focus on recovering, praying for our baby, and looking forward to brighter days.
And the most important way to find peace this season: - Don’t forget to prepare your heart for Jesus’ coming! Ahhh, of course – the reason for the season! Amidst your other preparations, use the four weeks of Advent to turn your heart toward Jesus and anticipate His Birth. Taking care of the aforementioned tasks is important, but only as a means to an end – to free up your mental and physical energy and leave time and attention for Jesus. You can do this in a few ways:
- Committing to one extra Daily Mass per week
- Spending time in Eucharistic Adoration – especially with your kids – even if it’s not quite a full holy “hour.”
- Read Christ-centered Christmas stories with your kids
- Dedicate a few evenings to quiet time with the kids – dim the lights, start a fire in the fireplace, get everyone in their cozy jammies, drink hot chocolate, and pray together. There’s something wonderful and novel about creating this type of peaceful environment for our kids, and it allows us to take a step back from the excitement of the season to find Christ in the calm. It’s beautiful!
Remember, this doesn’t have to be a season full of chaos and frustration, but if it already is, read my recommendations for pushing through here.
God bless you, fellow tired parents!
